Prayers for Thomas Carmichael

[firstturn]

SUNDAY, JUNE 20, 2010 11:37 PM, EDT

From Clinta - It was a peaceful and calm Father's Day.  We all gathered for lunch and it was nice that we were together.  

The nurse who came earlier today said that Thomas's wound is healing well and that the drainage is little to none.  He continues to be very confused or sharp depending on the moment.  I think the main culprit is the medication.

Donna Lazar, cook extraordinaire, brought dinner over; grilled pork chops, potato casserole, peas, watermelon and pink lemonade cake.  Thomas said it was the best dinner ever but he says that every time Donna cooks a meal for us.  

I think I had mentioned that Thomas's cell phone was destroyed in a spilled drink accident.  When Michael and Alisa came over last Sunday, they brought with them a new phone to replace Thomas's old phone.  I've since gotten the SIM cards switched so now Thomas has a cell phone again.  Unfortunately though, he lost his entire address book.  Apparently, that information is on the phone and not the SIM card.  So, if you would like to call him, please do and leave a message with your phone number.  He has asked me several times to call certain people but I don't have anyone's phone number or feel free to send him an email and I can retrieve it.  

We continue to get cards, we appreciate your thoughtfulness and prayers.  We love you!


Ron Carbaugh

[firstturn]

Neat thing happened for Thomas.  For those of you who never lived in the Carolina's SOC stands for Southern Oil Company.  Even though I collected Gas Station signs, pumps and maps for years I never owned any SOC sign.  

TUESDAY, JUNE 22, 2010 9:20 PM, EDT

From Clinta - Thomas had a visit today from his parents.  I had shared with them a few weeks back that the dishwasher had broken, so Dad brought a dishwasher motor with him that he had purchased when his own dishwasher broke.  As it turned out, his problem was something else so he didn't use the motor.  

Within seconds of eyeballing the situation, he said that the on/off valve for the water to go into the dishwasher had been turned off so with a twist of his hand, I'm back in business.  What a relief!  I'm not opposed to hand washing but I'm not fond of dirty dishes in the sink or counter.  When you have a 19 years old son living with you, there are always dirty dishes or glasses.

Mom brought her homemade lasagna and chicken bog.  We certainly had the most delicious use of carbohydrates and a friend of their's made a homemade pecan pie.  It's a wonder, I have the strength to type this after so much chowing down today.  Hannah and Trey joined us for lunch so it was nice for all of us to be together.  

Mom and Dad, many years ago owned a SOC gas station, years before convenience stores starting selling gas cheaper than Dad could even buy it.  The convenience stores really put the full service stations out of business.  He was full service with washing windows, checking your oil and also offered car repairs.  Thomas and his brother Terence grew up working at that station since they were young kids.  

This past weekend, in Charleston, they held a SOC gas station reunion.  When arriving, Mom and Dad were very surprised that the host had put together a big red box with Thomas's name on it and Get Well Wishes sentiment.  The attendees dropped cards, money and notes of encouragement.  These were people that Thomas may not have seen in the last 30 years but they were so gracious with their kind comments and for thinking of him.  Naturally, he was sad that he couldn't attend and see all these people that he grew up around.  

Overall, Thomas had a good day and is resting comfortably now.  I think tomorrow will be a low key day and he will be able to get more rest.  We appreciate your prayers and are grateful for the cards we get daily in the mail.  We love you!


Ron Carbaugh

[tomale]

Good to hear that so many people are taking notice of Thomas's condition.  I post often on the carebridge site... because I know it makes a difference and because Thomas is worth, the effort He is a brother... thankyou to all those here that post too...

Thom Green,Still crazy after all these years!
76' 250 MC5 (orginal owner)74'
250 hare scrambler (project bike)

[firstturn]

Thanks for the posts and the cards and a Special Thanks to Randy Kirkbride for his special gift.  I appreciate all the kind words and Prayers.

WEDNESDAY, JUNE 23, 2010 10:25 PM, EDT

From Clinta - I have been very concerned about Thomas's upcoming doctor visit with his oncologist.  As all of you know from multiple previous postings, Thomas gets very anxious about having to leave the house.  Rightfully so since his only methodology for doing that is by ambulance.  It is such an undertaking and it completely wears him out.  When the nurse came on Monday, I happened to be on a phone call upstairs and she told me that he was very upset that I was scheduling him to go have a MRI.  I'm not sure why he thought that, but that's not why I was on the phone.  

There is a question also of whether or not to continue the chemo.  There is no doubt that the chemo affected his recent infection but the general consensus is that the original infection was never completely cleared up so the chemo helped to facilitate it becoming active again, but it did not cause it.  One doctor, the oncologist is in favor of continuing the chemo and the radiation oncologist is not.  When I first found out about the infection, I had said no more chemo, it's too dangerous to risk.  But, now, I'm not sure and I want to make the best decision for Thomas.  

Our radiation oncologist, who I spoke with at length privately on Monday told me that she would call his primary oncologist and see if she would let Thomas forego the office visit.  Even as late as last week, the primary oncologist was insistent that he come into the office.  I have been truly dismayed by her attitude and inconsideration of what it means to Thomas to have to make that trip, particularly and only so that she can look at him and then send us right back home.  She won't do any testing because Vista does that now in our home.  Very frustrating, but at the same time, I'm not a doctor and I want to make sure that every need he has is covered.  

I found out today from the radiation oncologist that she got approval from the primary oncologist for Thomas to NOT have to come into the office.  Yay!!  Additionally, the radiation oncologist offered to come to our home and do an exam here.  From there, she and the primary oncologist will confer to determine whether Thomas should or should not have the chemo in July.  

I'm so appreciative of Dr. Matthews going to bat for Thomas otherwise we would have had to make another ambulance trip for a 10 minute lookover.  

He's doing about the same, eating fairly well and still experiencing a mixture of lucidity mixed with confusion.  A standard part of his confusion is his insistence on going into work.  He still talks all the time about Cryovac.  He got a call today from his boss, Susan Lowcavage, (she has been so incredibly kind to us throughout this experience), just catching up with him and then she asked to speak to me.  She wanted me to know that they will be posting Thomas's position as an opening and she wanted to make sure that he knew and would not be upset about it, she certainly didn't have to do that.  I told her not to worry about it, he knew several weeks ago that he was past his FMLA time and he will be ok with it.  I'm not sure that he would technically understand anyway.  

I have been so touched by the cards that we are still getting every day.  Thank you, it means so much to Thomas, I read them to him every night.  We also got a box of the best cookies from Randy Kirkbride in California.  Oh my gosh, they are the bomb and 300 of them!  I think that it's pretty traditional for cancer patients to lose a bunch of weight, but not with Thomas and it's easy to see why!  Between all the meals and goodies that he gets, it's a wonder that he hasn't gained weight!  (Not that we care, the doctors have said, let him eat any and everything he wants!!)  

Continue to pray and specifically for guidance about continuing the chemo, I need help in knowing what to do.  We love you!


Ron Carbaugh

[firstturn]

Very difficult day on Saturday.

SATURDAY, JUNE 26, 2010 11:43 PM, EDT

From Clinta - Today has been a very bad day.  Over night, Thomas suffered either a stroke or seizure, we don't know which for sure.  The fact that he had had one, didn't become apparent until around noon today, when Thomas had a full blown seizure.  When conferring with the nurse that came to the house, she determined that something had to have happened overnight to explain his not waking or conversing since last night.  

When Thomas didn't wake this morning and peacefully slept, I figured he was getting a good night's sleep.  He was snoring and making all the common noises that he does every day when I checked on him.  As I do every Saturday morning, I left around 8:30 to have breakfast with my childhood friend Donna Lazar.  Both Hannah and Trey were here with him and I asked when I got back home if he had awakened while I was gone and they told me no.  Hannah went to work and Trey ran to Target to pick up a prescription for Thomas.

I went in to the dining room and gently asked Thomas if he would like something to eat.  He didn't answer but shook his head no.  I then held his glass of water to his mouth and was able to get him to drink a little.  I went back to the den and Trey called me on my cell to tell me that the key to my car had broken off in the ignition and he needed me to bring him another key.  I was slightly agitated in that I was here alone with Thomas and couldn't and shouldn't leave him by himself.  I told him I would call him back.  I had just hung up the phone when a beastly noise at a loud decibel came from the dining room.  

I ran into the dining room and Thomas was staring wide-eyed at the ceiling, literally frothing at the mouth, his lips were drawn up in a sneer exposing his gums and he was making a noise between a roar and a growl.  It was frighteningly like a rabid dog!  I was so scared that I felt my arms becoming numb.  I was yelling at Thomas to look at me, I was grabbing his arm and trying to get his attention.  I was shouting that he was scaring me, please stop and of course, there was no recognition from him whatsoever of who I was or that I was even beside the bed.  

I ran back and grabbed my cell, dialing as quickly as possible, Vistacare to have them send a nurse or doctor immediately.  In that space of time, Thomas had stopped the awful animalistic noise and when I went back in to him, he's eyes were closed and he began his usual groaning noise.  I still tried to get him to look at me or to respond and there was nothing.  

In the meantime, I called my friend Donna, I merely said the words, I need you and hung up and then called Trey.  I told him what was happening and hung up with him also.  Later he shared with me, that he stood outside the car and prayed to God to please allow the car to start.  He tried it again and it did.  He drove home at 80 miles an hour and ran in the door and grabbed me.  He was scared also and for the very first time since Thomas has been sick, my incredible son sat down in our den and cried.  That upset me as much as seeing Thomas.  Trey called Hannah, who literally walked off the job, she came home immediately and they've both been by my side all day.  

The nurse explained that after a seizure, Thomas will sleep very deeply and the seizure medicine will add to the sedatives in making him unresponsive.  It is incredibly hard to get medicine in him because it is so difficult to get him to even open his eyes and I have to ensure that he doesn't choke or get the medicine lodged in his throat or lungs.  

Tonight, he has started throwing up.  Hannah has made a run to the 24 hour pharmacy to get phenergan and valium suppositories.  The phenergan is for the vomiting and the valium is for the seizures.  I think the vomiting is due to the new seizure medicine and so they have told me to not give him anymore which is a huge risk now.  Valium, apparently, when originally manufactured was made as a seizure medicine so they want me to have it close by in case of another seizure.  He is throwing up in his sleep, he's not even aware of it.  We have him raised high in the bed to help prevent his choking and to help elevate pressure on his brain.  

I have been dealing with the dilemma of continuing the chemo.  When Thomas first had the reoccurence of the infection a week or so ago, I had emphatically decided to stop it.  Then this past week, in talking with a couple of his doctors, I was reconsidering it because I want Thomas to have every single opportunity available to fight this monster.  But at what cost?  So, I have prayed and prayed for an answer.  Dr. Matthews is scheduled to do a home visit this coming week and I had some hard questions for her because I know that sometimes, if not all the time, quality in life should over-rule quantity.  Personally, I would not want to live in a capacity that didn't allow me to be cognizant of the life around me and I know that Thomas felt the same way.  I have to wonder if today's episode wasn't God's way of letting me know that Thomas doesn't need to do any more chemo.  

I am on the roller-coaster ride of my life.  I am amazed at how I can feel one way at a particular time and a whole different way at another.  I am sad and angry and tired and scared.  I have had very little, if anything to be happy about for 4 months now, but I continue to be blessed by the magnitude of the support and love by my friends, Thomas's friends and even strangers who have offered various types of kindness.  Thank you for hanging in there with us.  We love you!



Ron Carbaugh

[swamp fox]

I know I haven't posted on Thomas' condition lately, but  Brother Ron has been keeping all of you posted. Now more that ever we need to say some prayers for Thomas and his family. Team Carmichael has endured more than any family should have to.

Robert Manucy
72 Berkshire
72 Six Day
82 Honda cr250r
04 BMW K 1200 GT - KIA in N. Ga. - 32987 smiles
08 BMW K 1200 S

[tomale]

I do not know what to say, but as always I am praying for all of you, May God give you rest and peace as you walk these dark days... My favorite scripture is "Jesus Wept"   I know He knows what is going on with me and I know He knows what is going on with you and it grieves him to tears... I wish there was more than just praying that I could do, Not that I think that is unimportant but I would love to be able to do something to help... just know we are Praying hard...

Thom Green,Still crazy after all these years!
76' 250 MC5 (orginal owner)74'
250 hare scrambler (project bike)

[firstturn]

I am just the messenger:  Thanks for everyones Prayers.

SUNDAY, JUNE 27, 2010 12:37 PM, EDT

From Clinta - I wish that I had positive news to report but I don't.  Thomas has not regained consciousness and he seems even more removed then he was yesterday.  He's not responding to any type of physical touch or verbal command.  He's not opening his eyes but does still move his right arm and leg.  He will pull the sheet up or move the sheet down.  

We are not able to give him any food or pills by mouth.  Water is given to him by a special instrument that the nurse gave me.  He appears to be very comfortable and he was given morphine this morning to help him with his stomach ache.  He threw up 4 times last night into this morning but that's stopped and I'm hoping that his stomach is feeling much better.

We continue to be hopeful that he will regain consciousness.  Each day that goes by that he doesn't, makes it less likely that he will.   Our regular nurse, Nika, will be coming over on Tuesday and depending on Thomas's status, will be able to share more information with us about his condition moving forward.  

I am so thankful that my friend Barbara Pittsenbarger is back with me to help me through this.  After learning of Thomas's seizure yesterday, she made plans to return today to stay with me this week.  So many things are happening right now, decisions and options that have to be discussed and determined, it's nice to have someone that you respect close by to help.  Both Barbara and Donna Lazar have been a rock for me since this whole journey began.  

This is taking a toll on Hannah and Trey who are very confused about the specifics of Thomas's current condition.  Hannah asked me tonight if Thomas was going to wake up.  I was honest with her and told her that I don't know.  I don't think anyone can answer that question right now.  Throughout the day, we are talking to him and telling him how much we love him.  We don't know if he can hear us or not, but we hope he can!  

Please pray for God to be merciful with Thomas.  From the day this whole thing began, I have asked for complete healing and a merciful touch for him.  Above all else, I don't want Thomas to be in any pain or suffer, I'm sure that you feel the same way.  We love you!




Ron Carbaugh

[joe novak]

May God be with Thomas and your family during this most difficult time.  Joe

[hersman31]

praying for Thomas and his family in this difficult time, may he find peace

[firstturn]

This is a tough time and I am at a loss for words.  Thomas and his Family are real fighters and a True Family.  I Pray everyone that reads this appreciates life.  I cannot believe that Clinta has the strength to keep us informed daily.

TUESDAY, JUNE 29, 2010 12:40 PM, EDT

From Clinta - It's a little past midnight, I'm cried out and I'm too weary for words, literally.  As I shared with you in last night's post, Thomas's nurse, Nika came to our home today.  I wish that I could tell you that she was able to provide a magic cure or resolution or tell us anything that would give us hope that Thomas would survive this nightmare, but short of a miracle, Thomas is facing what is referred to as the end stage.  In my book, it's an ugly term for a very profound time in someone's life.

The phrase end stage is medical terminology for the period of time when a terminal patient begins to have either very specific or particular type symptoms in the process of dying.    A patient can be a textbook case or it can be a very complex scenario because a person can have one or all of the commonalities for this period that is designated as the time when your body begins to shut down or quit functioning in a way for you to survive.  

The very frustrating aspect is that, at this point for Thomas, Vista is in full belief that Thomas is in the beginning of the end stage but there is a very remote, miniscule possibility that he could  recover from his trauma over the weekend.  Their belief is that if there had been any hope for that, it would have happened by now.  

They advised me today to have Thomas's family come in to see him, for them to tell him that they love him.  As part of the end stage, he could still have very brief moments where he can talk and will recognize us.  But, those periods will be less and less as he starts to sleep more and more.  He will start to drink less, he may not eat anything more again and his body will start a natural shut-down process.  It doesn't feel natural to me but that's because I'm watching it happen to someone I love dearly.  

Hannah and Trey are distraught and for me, the pain is unbearable at times.  It's amazing to me that an emotional pain can manifest itself into a physical pain because my gut and heart feel as if they are torn apart.  It's absolutely surreal; at various points during the day it's as if my life is going along on a normal basis and then at others, I feel as if my world has collapsed.  All of these feelings can literally change hour by hour.  

I am unable to talk about my feelings for Thomas right now, it's too tender and raw.  I can't even type the words, but I will, I'm just not equipped to do that at this time.  Thomas's parents and brother and sister-in-law are coming in tomorrow.  I don't know how much time we have left, (the end stage typically can last from 1 day to 4 weeks), but every single minute of it exceeds being precious to us.  

Please pray for God's mercy for Thomas.  Just in the last few days, he has been experiencing head pain, they think the cancer may have metastasized in other areas of his brain.  I am giving him morphine generously because I don't want him to suffer at all.  Thank you for being there for us.  We love you!


Ron Carbaugh

[rfpotter]

That is just gut wrenching for me to read. My heart just drops.

God look over this family and give them the strength to endure.

Patrick

[Larry Perkins]

It is so hard on us as friends and Brothers of Thomas to follow the bad news and rejoice with the good.  I can hardly imagine what it must be like for his family that have come to love him more than we would be able to.  In the mix we should not forget that there is a God and his Son that love him even more than all of us.  I pray in his name that this will be taken from Thomas in whatever way is His will.  I pray that comfort will come to Thomas' family however is best in God's eyes.

My Brother Thomas, Clinta, Hannah, and Trey we love you all and are with you in thought and prayer.  God's love is so much bigger than what we are capable of.  With God's promise of eternal life there is no end time.  No matter what happens a miracle will come.  We will continue to pray it is a earthly one and this dark time will pass.  If that is not in the plan then Heaven itself is a miracle with no pains.

I love you Brother Thomas and if you are not aware of it right now I will tell you again one day when we see each other again, be it here or above.

Either way these postings are a book that tell a hard fought journey of a good man and a loving family.

May God's peace and blessings be with you all now and always.

Larry P

[Rocket]

Clinta
I have a hard time saying the right things at times like this and I feel so bad for you and your family.  Thomas is a great guy and I am proud to know him.  I am typing this with tears running down my cheeks, God bless Thomas and your family.
Rod Gorzny

[maicobuddy]

Guys I don't know what to say..I've not checked this site in quite some time and I'm just in shocked about this..Thomas and I used to email one another ever so offen and I know I hadn't gotten an email from Thomas in quite awhile..but I just figured he was busy..I'm so sorry to here how sick he is and that I haven't taken the time over the last 5 or 6 months to email him..my prayers and wishes go out to Thomas & his Family..Buddy