Prayers for Thomas Carmichael

[454MRW]

Clinta, Brother Ron, friends and family of Thomas,
In the Kingdom of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, there is a place reserved for those of us who believe without reservation, and those who go out of their way to help others, thinking not of theirselves. In that special place I pray, and am certain, that you will find Thomas, rejoicing amidst lost friends and dwelling in the blessing of our Lord, and knowing that there are many, many, more dear friends that will eventually become a part of that celebration, all in their own time, and the calling of our Lord. Amen, Mike

Michael R. Winter
I enjoy rebuilding and appreciating Pentons!
1974 250 HS Pentons-1980 KTM 175-400'S

[firstturn]

This is a tough read for me.  Thanks Michael Winters for your wonderful post.

TUESDAY, JULY 6, 2010 7:17 PM, EDT

From Clinta - Thomas's visitation was last night and we had around 200 people from all over come to visit with the Carmichael family.  I was so surprised to see faces that I haven't seen in 20 and 30 years.  The minister and friend that married us, Jimmy Cox who is on a sabbatical from Africa made the trip from Charleston and I was so excited to see him!  At points, it was overwhelming how emotional it was to meet new friends and see old ones.  Hannah had made a DVD of her Dad, put to music and it was awesome.  We had set it up in another room for people to be able to watch and see Thomas from a baby to a picture of him last year in Myrtle Beach, it was great!  

I can't possibly thank everyone through this venue who have been with us yesterday and today.  The flowers, plants, calls and cards have been more than we would ever have expected.  I know that if Thomas could have heard, (and I'm hopeful that he did), all the wonderful things that people have said about him, he would have been in awe.  He was amazed by the responses that he had gotten through caring bridge.  

We held a private burial this morning for him, officiated by Buddy Waters, our former Sunday School teacher.  It was perfect, literally.  There was a breeze that kept us wonderfully cool and Buddy's words were unbelievably supportive, kind, intuitive and comforting.  There were only 11 of us there and everyone came away saying, it could not have been better.

The Memorial Service was held this afternoon, officiated by Dr. Ralph Carter, who just in the last couple of months has adopted us.  He and his church, Brushy Creek Baptist have been a rock for us.  He and his staff of ministers had someone come sit with Thomas everyday in the hospital and then visited often in our home.  Their care team has come and cut our grass for us and today brought a meal that, well, there's no way I could possibly do it justice with mere words.  I told the person that brought the food that there was enough for 125 people!  Probably not 125, but I know that there's leftovers in my refrigerator and freezer and 4 or more other people left with sizable leftovers.  

The service today was extremely simple, as intended.  Jerry Stepp sang 3 songs, Amazing Grace, My Chains Are Gone; I Will Rise, both of those songs by Chris Tomlin and the closing song was Save A Place For Me, by Matthew West.  There were  eulogies given by Mike Gasque, Richard Baughman, Ken Norton, Susan Lowcavage, Barbara Pittsenbarger and then Kathy Vass read mine for me.  

I know that Thomas has friends from the West Coast to the East.  I know that there are many more people that were unable to attend today due to distance or it being 4th of July week and vacations.  Because of that, I have decided to post my eulogy through caring bridge so that the friends of Thomas that could not attend will have an opportunity to read what I wrote, how I felt about him and a little about Thomas.  I will warn you, it's pretty long.  

I know that I will post one more time because I have a specific message to leave, but I'm nervous about quoting a number because I seem to always backtrack but that's my intention.  So many people said to me at the visitation that they liked reading the journal and the posts each day and that it was going to seem odd not to read it anymore.  I feel the same way.  It's been therapeutic for me to write it and there have been many nights that I didn't want to, but I always did it for Thomas because it was so helpful to him.  

Here's my eulogy:
 
Hello, my name is Kathy Vass and I am a friend of Clinta's. Believing that the message is far greater than the messenger, Clinta has asked me to read her eulogy for Thomas during this service today. I can think of no greater honor than to be asked and of no greater gift to be able to give.
 

When Clinta sat down to write this eulogy, she felt completely overwhelmed with the daunting task of encapsulating her 26 years with Thomas in a 5 to 7 minute timeframe.  Frankly, it would be impossible.  So instead, she decided that she would share with you her feelings about Thomas and some experiences that reflected on how he was an individual, a child of God, a husband and a father. Her goal today is to celebrate and honor the most important man in her life.  And here are her words:


Thomas has always had an enthusiasm and exuberance for life that was so apparent by his excitement in most everything he did.  As most of you know, he loved dirt bike and flat track racing, actually most any kind of racing, but especially racing through the woods.  He was extraordinarily talented and most the time one of the fastest riders on a track or in the woods.  He loved it!  For years now, he has been restoring vintage Penton motorcycles and he was passionate about it to the point of almost being obsessed.  When he became affiliated with the Penton Owners Group, he made so many precious friends, people he referred to as brother.  Thomas loved riding and there's really nothing he liked better than to gear up and hit the trails.  He's probably already checked out the whoop-di-dos in heaven.
 

Thomas and I dated for 3 months before getting married.  Thomas always said, "When you know something's right, why wait?" We met while working for the same company and we had a whirlwind romance.  As is normal for any new relationship, in the early stages there was some adapting and learning the ways of your new-found love.  For example, Thomas always kept his cars meticulous, not a crumb in sight, whereas my cars, well, it was not uncommon to find fast food wrappers, clothes, books, CD's, all kinds of stuff commonly found in landfills. You would actually run the risk of something growing on your pants leg if you were in my car long enough.  This naturally made Thomas crazy because to him a car was to be respected and cared for as if it was a living thing.

 

Shortly before we married, my mother and her husband decided to come to Charleston where we were living to meet the husband-to-be.  I had not a single reservation about whether or not they would like Thomas; I knew they would love him.  Actually, my fear was that he would not want to marry into my loony-tune family.  It made me very nervous but I felt that on some level, this would be a test of Thomas' fortitude.  Since we were on the coast, my Mom and her husband were very excited about getting to eat fresh seafood so I suggested we go to one of the many seafood stores, pick up some fresh shrimp and we would have a boiled shrimp dinner.  Everyone was looking forward to that!  Thomas, wanting to make a good impression on his future mother-in-law told us to take his car.  Truly, his car looked as if it had just been driven off the car lot.  So, off I go with my mother to buy shrimp and run some errands.  We purchased 5 pounds of shrimp, and as is standard procedure, the shrimp was put in very thin poly bags.  Somehow, in the ride between the store and home, with a few stops in between, my mother inadvertently tore the shrimp bag open so by the time we got home, shrimp juice had saturated the entire passenger side of the car.  This was not particularly alarming to me – or my mother - thinking that we could just wipe out the car when we got home.  But, when Thomas met us at the car to help carry in the packages, the minute the door was opened (we had kept the windows closed because it was scorching hot and we had the a/c on full blast), he immediately smelled the shrimp.  It was if someone had yelled Code Red. He told us to get out of the car, get the shrimp out and get out of his way.  For hours, he worked in the car to get rid of the smell.  I repeatedly came outside to ask if I could help and he just keep saying, "I need to be alone."  Until the day he sold that car, he said he felt like everywhere he went people thought he smelled like fish.  He never allowed his mother-in-law in the car again and insisted that he would buy the shrimp from then on.

 

That particular event confirmed to me Thomas's love for me, and his ability to put up with my family.  So, even though we may have smelled fishy, we were married on July 6, 1984 - 26 years ago today.

 

We had a very small private ceremony in a tiny church in Givhans, SC.  I got a new family with Thomas's parents, Malcolm and Shelby, a new brother, Terence, and a few years later, a new sister when Terence married Melissa. Thomas became another son to his mother-in-law and a brother to my four brothers and sister.  Thomas was a man that had an incredible desire to be loved, and to be a doting father and devoted husband to the family that he and I created.  He loved me as much as is possible for one person to love another.  He would tell me all the time that I was as much a part of him as the blood that flowed through his veins, that it was not possible for anyone else to love me as much as he did.  We had the kind of marriage that was a partnership in every way.  For 26 years, Thomas was my best friend and the love of my life.  He had a thousand ways to say, I love you, without ever saying it at all.  I would refer to him as my soul mate – long before Governor Sanford made it a bad word!

 

Seriously, our souls were as one.  Thomas often would surprise me with gifts and presents.  When I traveled by plane, he would meet me at the airport with flowers and tell me that he missed me terribly; that he felt a hole in his heart until we were reunited again.  Since last Friday, I have had that same hole in my heart and the only thing that gets me through the day right now is that I know that there will be a day when our souls reunite and there will be no more sadness or emptiness.  

 

Thomas and I have 2 wonderful children, Hannah and Trey.  The love that we feel and have felt for our children is not adequately put into words.  I'm sure for those of you that are parents, you can completely relate to this love that is never-ending and unconditional.  Thomas was amazed by his children.  He often would say, I can't imagine what I've done in my life to deserve Hannah and Trey.  God has given me the greatest gift a man can be given with a wife that I love without boundaries and two children that have given me the greatest joy I've ever felt.  When both of the children were born, Thomas cried like a girl.  He was elated and overwhelmed by these little people who are the spitting image of him.

 

 

Even though Hannah and Trey have completely different personalities, they both encompass so many of Thomas's traits.  Thomas will always be with us because his legacy goes on with the lives of Hannah and Trey.  All they have to do to see their father is look in the mirror.  When Trey was in first grade, his elementary school had a field day with lots of different contests and competition.  It had been promoted for weeks and there was a good deal of ribbing among the kids about who could win the most prizes.  One of those contests was a relay race.  Trey, who was 11 pounds, 5 ounces at birth, was one of the biggest and most athletic kids in the class.  During the race, another boy fell and Trey without any thought to his own standing in the race, stopped to help the boy get back up.    The coach at the school was amazed by this and shared it at the year-end assembly with all the parents that were in attendance for awards day.  He said that Trey's compassion for his teammate was an attribute that would serve him well in life.  Thomas told me that day, "I would never have been able do that!"

 

When Hannah was in middle school, she decided to run for Vice-President of the school body.  She put together posters and a slogan, stickers and paraphernalia to pass out to the students to garner votes.  Hannah wrote the most incredible campaign speech – one that the teachers collectively agreed was the best and one that Hannah delivered with casual ease.  Thomas told me then, "I would never have been able to do that!"

 

Trey in high school played football for Blue Ridge as an offensive lineman.  He would go every day in the blasting sun during the summer months and work out with the team for hours.  It was hard, hot, and exhausting but Trey loves the sport of football.  Thomas and I never missed a game with Trey's Dad being the loudest voice from the stands. And even though he sometimes yelled out the wrong things and might have embarrassed me a little, there was no doubt that Thomas was Trey's biggest cheerleader. Thomas told me then, "I would never have been able to do that!"

 

When Hannah entered the Miss Relay pageant in high school, it was her first attempt at competing in a beauty pageant.  She was surrounded by girls that had been competing for years, girls that had all the pomp and stance of professional beauty pageant contestants.  This was new territory for Hannah and certainly she didn't know the ins and outs or the politics of this type of competition.  But she entered it and participated as if she was a pro.  She walked that stage like she owned it and while out on the stage, she could hear her Dad's voice yelling, "Go Bug!",  a nickname he gave her when she was a little baby.  Again Thomas told me, "I would never have been able to do that!"

 

Thomas often told me that he thought his children were better people than he was and that he was so proud of them and their accomplishments!  But, he was most proud of the fact that they are good, kind, compassionate people that know right from wrong, understand the value of family and that they stand committed to having a relationship with Christ which offers them eternal life.  This belief gives Hannah and Trey comfort in knowing that they will be reunited again with their Dad.  Thomas empowered them to be strong and confident, to know that they can accomplish anything or aspire to be whatever they want to be.  He gave them the greatest gift a father can give their child. He believed in them!  His heritage to his children isn't words or possessions but an unspoken treasure, the treasure of his example as a man and as a father.

 

Thomas was one of those guys that could not stand in a long line without complaining out loud so that all the people around him could hear.  He absolutely went crazy about most of the drivers on the road - no telling what pieces of advice he would offer them!  He would get frustrated if the golfers ahead of him on the course moved too slowly.  My sense of direction would give him heartburn.  And, if anyone ate potato chips, pretzels, popcorn or the worst, smacked gum around him, he would either ask them to move or he would get up and move away.  These were traits that most of his friends knew about him.

 

But there are other traits that a lot of people didn't know about Thomas.  He would frequently pull over to help a stranded motorist with changing a tire or jumping a car battery.  He helped friends move from one house to another, and would work on their cars if they needed help with changing the brakes or fixing some type of mechanical problem.  Thomas could fix almost anything - a broken wagon or a broken heart.  Thomas cried when our dog Indy died and he sacrificed going to the Carolina Bowl game because our water heater wasn't working quite right.  He often counseled friends who were having marital problems or were just down.  He loved life, he loved his family and he loves God.

 

When Thomas found out that he had brain cancer, although scared many times over, he wondered what God had planned for him.  He often told me that he knew that God had put him in this position because He wanted Thomas to use it to do something.  Thomas spent literally hours over the course of the past several weeks pondering what God's plans were for him.  He wondered if his trial was meant to be a testimony to others that didn't know Christ.  He questioned whether he was meant to be an inspiration to others in similar situations.  Thomas was a cheerleader to other patients during his 3 weeks at Roger C Peace Rehab center and he felt that he had been given an ability to motivate.  Throughout his illness, he wanted to honor God and be His instrument in whatever role God had assigned specifically to him.  It was incredibly important to him that all of his friends and family be reunited with him in heaven.
 

I want everyone sitting here today to know the magnitude of Thomas's life here on earth.  As Peter Marshall said, "The measure of life is not it's duration, but it's donation." Thomas had an incredibly short life but one filled with tenderness and courage, laughter and love, and most of all, integrity.  Thomas represented the very definition of integrity.  He was a man of character and honor and he was always steadfastly loyal to his friends and family.  

 

Thomas will be missed beyond comprehension.  He has touched so many lives and has been an inspiration not only through his illness but in the daily way that he led his life.  It is going to be hard going forward for Team Carmichael without our captain, but we will get through each day knowing that it is what Thomas would have wanted for us.  He made us Team Carmichael by his example and we will try each day to live up to his expectations.  He often said to me, Hannah and Trey, "We are Team Carmichael and together we cannot be defeated!"

 

The next song, 'Save A Place For Me' is dedicated to Thomas from Team Carmichael.




Ron Carbaugh

[hankthecrank]

May we learn from this man and his family.

Hank Rinehart

[Knute]

Thank you for posting the updates and eulogy Ron.  I have always considered the POG to be an extension of my family and Thomas was a wonderful member.  My thoughts and prayers are with all of Team Carmichael.  Godspeed Thomas!

Kent Knudson

[firstturn]

This is the final post from Thomas' Wife Clinta.  I just want to thank everyone who has emailed, called or I have spoke to in person for all the kind words and thoughts about Thomas and his wonderful Family.  


TUESDAY, JULY 13, 2010 10:19 PM, EDT

From Clinta -
Hello caring bridge readers!  It is my intention that this will be my last post and I will be deactivating the account at the end of July.  I'm leaving it up long enough for any final posts and I will be purchasing a caring book which caring bridge provides as a service to anyone who wants to have them give you the posts and journals in book form.  I think that Hannah and Trey will one day want to look back over them, as well myself.

 

Tonight's post is dedicated to all the people who have supported Thomas and Team Carmichael through his illness and ordeal.  There are literally hundreds of you and I wish that I could mention each of you by name but that obviously is not possible.  There are specific people that went above and beyond so to speak, in providing help around the house, food, visits, a shoulder to cry on, gifts, cards, posts, and on and on and at this point in my life, I don't trust myself to single out those people and I would be aghast if I accidentally left someone's name out.  You know who you are, you know what you did for us and we can't adequately thank you enough.

 

I've always believed that you can tell a lot about a person by the company that he keeps.  If you are a joyful person, than most likely you are surrounded by happy people.  If you are a miserable person, as the expression goes, you're circle is probably made up of negative people.  Through the last 4 ½ months, Thomas was surrounded by loving, giving, caring and compassionate people and that's the standard by which Thomas should be measured because he was all of those things.  Certainly, he had the ability to be surly, but Thomas had a huge heart and a great capacity for love.

 

Hannah, Trey and I are struggling to make sense of Thomas's young death and we know that we won't get those answers here on earth.  We miss him terribly every day as I'm sure his parents, brother, sister-in-law and many of his friends do also.  Trey and I will find ourselves whispering in the kitchen so we don't wake him or I will stop at different points in the day to give him a call and then the sharp and painful realization that he's not here anymore will strike a gut-piercing blow.

 

The other night I was in the den and heard a hissing noise behind the refrigerator.  I called Trey and he pulled the refrigerator out for me and behind it is a canister attached to copper tubing, (I think it has to do with the water filtering to the refrigerator) and it was hissing like a snake.  We both just stared at it wondering what to do next??  It acted like it could explode and Trey said, "Mom, this is a Dad thing, I don't know what to do!"  And he's right, it is a Dad thing, right along with a million other things that Thomas did for us everyday because he always took care of us and it was just our way of life at the Carmichael household.

 

Thank you so much from Team Carmichael for the magnitude and generosity of your prayers and support during Thomas's illness.  There have been other repercussions from the caring bridge activity besides being so inspiring to Thomas, Hannah, Trey and I.  It was very touching that at the visitation and memorial service complete strangers felt like they knew other people just through the postings.  It truly is a small world.

 

Team Carmichael is strong and determined to continue on in the manner that Thomas would have wanted.  We deal daily with our loss and we are comforted in knowing that he has perfect health, is no longer sad or frustrated and that we will be reunited again one day.  Until that day, we will value each day as a gift and be thankful for all the many blessings that we have and especially each other.  I would encourage you to utilize caring bridge if you have any friends or family members that have a long term illness, it has been a God-send for us and it's amazing to me that it's survives exclusively on donations.

 

Thank you so much!  We love you!



Ron Carbaugh

[ALB]

A condolence card was signed by everyone who was at the POG meeting, Saturday at the AMA Vintage Days, and it was mailed to Clinta and her family. At the beginning of the meeting a silent time was held to acknowledge the transition of Thomas. He will be dearly missed by all of the POG family.

Clinta, thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings during Thomas's ordeal. You have touched my heart and everyone else that has read your postings.

Ron, I can't thank you enough for taking the time to post Clinta's logs on this forum to keep the POG family informed.

Alan Buehner

[swamp fox]

It's been a tough 2wks, and trying to find the words to express my thoughts about Thomas. If it wasn't for this fine group of people here at POG, I doubt that I would have known Thomas, since he had already moved away from the Lowcountry. But the comradery of this group allowed us to meet and become friends. You all were like a family to him, and he considered it an honor to have met some of you at Mid-Ohio, as I do also. Thanks for your prayers and support. He'll be missed, but not forgotten.

I posted this on CaringBridge earlier:

Wednesday, July 14, 2010 2:17 PM, EDT
My Dearest Team Carmichael,

  It's been a tough 4 1/2 months, and we all could only stand by and pray that Thomas would pull through this ordeal. The support and love that you have shared with us all has been extraordinary.
  I was in awe at how all of his friends could get up there and express their love of the times they had shared with Thomas, as I couldn't have been able. Like you told Barbara, that she'd be too emotional, I would have been also. And I would have lost that bet you made with her.
   Just introducing myself to Richard Baughman, and sharing my short memories, I got all choked up. I had known Richard's brother Kenny when he worked for the Ports Authority in the '90s. Then Mike Gasque tells me we were in the Sea Cadets together around '72?. I had completely forgotten that. Then it turns out his wife grew up across the street from my cousins in Anderson.  It truly was mind boggling.
  I still can't believe that we grew up here in the Lowcountry, and didn't meet somewhere on the bikes in the woods. We knew a lot of the same people, but I never got across the Ashley to ride Chisolm trail until it was just about closed.
  If I hadn't kept my old Penton, and joined the Penton Owners Group, I doubt that mine and Thomas' trail would have crossed, but I am blessed to have known him these short 8yrs. We went to Mid-Ohio twice, and he tried to get me to a Reunion Ride, but I didn't have a bike together to ride.
   Riding at Enoree, Parsons Mtn, and Wambaw  was a special time, along with helping him, Robert,  Al, and Greg with the White Lightning Enduro. Those memories will last forever, but I wonder what it would have been like if our trails had crossed sooner.
   God Bless you Clinta, Hannah, and Trey. And we'll remain in touch with you all. We'll miss Thomas, but never forget him.

Godspeed TC.

Bobby

Robert Manucy



Robert Manucy
72 Berkshire
72 Six Day
82 Honda cr250r
04 BMW K 1200 GT - KIA in N. Ga. - 32987 smiles
08 BMW K 1200 S

[DKWRACER]

Thomas, now that you are no-longer with us, I cannot convey, or put into words, a feeling life. Just having returned from a 1650 mile trip to the great woods our country has given us, brings me a message of hope and desire. Near the end of my journey, while I was playing pool in Oak Creek Col. a song came over the jukebox, words from John Prine,,,All the snow has turned into water............

My heart, shed a tear.......you will be missed...Tom
http://cone.viawest.net/users/dkwracer/savetwo/

[firstturn]

Thanks Tom as you have been a Friend for many years.  My loss of Thomas goes deeper than anyone can understand, as he was just a nice guy that loved Pentons.  I will always stay in touch with his Family.  Your Friendship and post is greatly appreciated.

Ron Carbaugh

[firstturn]

Last Sunday I visited with Thomas' Family and visited Thomas at the cemetery.  Beautiful location, real quiet and he has several shade trees.  Thanks for everyone caring and your thoughts and Prayers for Thomas and his Family.

Ron Carbaugh

[tomale]

Thanks Ron for all you have done for the Carmichael family, For those of you who care to Pray, please do continue to Pray, Clinta and the family are still in great need. There is a huge hole in their lives and need the comfort and strength that it provides...

Thom Green,Still crazy after all these years!
76' 250 MC5 (orginal owner)74'
250 hare scrambler (project bike)

[sixdazed]

R.C.,As always you are a true Brother and went the extra mile for Team Carmichael.We appreciate all you do for so many in the extended Family we call POG.Hoping all the best for Thomases'family thru these tough times.
                                                Ric

ric emmal

[swamp fox]

Brother Ron,
I spoke to Clinta the following week, and she was very appreciative of your visit, even if it was for only a short time. I wish I'd have known you were going up there. It would have been good to see you also. Take care, and we'll see you another time.



Robert Manucy
72 Berkshire
72 Six Day
82 Honda cr250r
04 BMW K 1200 GT - KIA in N. Ga. - 32987 smiles
08 BMW K 1200 S